It's been a while since you've heard from us at the coffeeshop. I have been insanely busy and we only have one computer at our house, which on most evenings lately has been in use because the husband is working North-Korean factory style hours.
So, I have been seeing some snarky posts from parents about shitty Christmas gifts. As a mother of four boys, I can relate. Look, I don't expect anyone to buy my children gifts. Ever. Aunties, grandfathers; you are off the hook. I don't want you to feel like you are obligated to buy my boys things. If you choose to buy them things, that is wonderful and appreciated, but please, listen to me and my husband when we give suggestions on what we do- and do not want you to buy. First of all, DO NOT buy them anything expensive. Why? Let me show you:
They honestly can have fun with a cardboard box for HOURS! In fact, every time I go on my big, monthly grocery run, the children beg me not to throw away the boxes! You can spend $50,- on a plastic dump truck from China that sings and talks, but they will choose the fucking cardboard boxes every time. Why? Because the talking dump truck will never be anything but a dump truck. A cardboard box on the other hand can be a submarine, a castle, a cave or a spaceship! It can be anything they want it to be. So save your $50,- and buy a $10,- book instead (I get new boxes every month on grocery day).
Secondly, and this one is VERY IMPORTANT, pretty please with sugar on top don't buy toys that make noise. JUST DON'T DO IT!! When you are shopping and you feel the urge to buy my kids toys that make noise, I want you to hold out the victory sign on your right hand, and then just FUCKING STAB YOURSELF IN THE EYEBALLS. Why? I have four children. If all four of them are playing with noisy toys you get this multiplied by four:
Third, please don't buy them things that have small parts. I have four BOYS. They are not old enough or responsible enough to tidy up their toys. If you buy them things that have small parts, inevitably parts will be left out, lost, or the worst case scenario...STEPPED ON BY ME:
Last, but not least, we ask that you don't buy them crap that is made in China. We try to teach our kids to buy local; to support our local economy. If nothing else, to support American made goods that are made by American workers who then earn a paycheck to support *their* families. Not only that, I am disgusted by the oppressive regime in China. I will have no part in supporting the oppression of their people. Besides, all their stuff is plastic and potentially toxic. No thanks. I'm ok with toys made in Germany, Peru, Iceland or Khazakstan, but for the planet, for freedom and for my kids, please, don't buy from China.
Where are my boxes!!!!!????????
ReplyDeleteLOLOL! Indeed!
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