I am an Alaskan and I am a gun owner. What is your problem with that? Yes, I know a wretched, loony nutjub shot a bunch of kids at school. It breaks my heart that I am planning a birthday party for my Corvus while other parents are planning funerals, but that doesn't change a thing about my views on firearms. I have very good reasons for owning my firearms. 1. Food:
Odocoileus hemionus sitkensis (YUMMY)
Alces alces (YUMMY!)
Rangifer tarandes (YUMMY!)
2. Defense...
Ursus americanus
Ursus arctos horribilis
Canis lupus
BAD PEOPLE!! 3. FUN AND SPORTSMANSHIP!!!
Now, as for "assault rifles", well, the only problem here is the nomer, isn't it? AR-15s require more skill to operate and are less lethal than a tactical shotgun. The M1 Garand is considered an "assault rifle". It is also used for civilian marksmanship by enthusiasts everywhere. But ok, let's go with the "assault rifle" tag. You don't think I need one? You don't think anyone needs one? Well now, here are some reasons why someone might want to own an "assault rifle".
Cambodia; unarmed, unsuspecting population gets slaughtered by Khmer Rouge.
What happens when unarmed people are targeted by an evil regime?
Now, I want you to look at this man:
That is the man who raised me, my grandfather, holding my first born son. I never saw him get angry. I never heard him raise his voice at anyone. He was the most peaceful person you can possibly imagine. He had to watch his country being overrun by an evil regime. He had to watch his neighbors being carted off to death. He had to stand by while his property was taken from him. And all he had to defend himself from that was a baseball bat... that is, until he clobbered his first Nazi and took his rifle. I still have the Nazi bajonet to prove it.
(Thank you, Grampa!) Tell me again why you want to live in a society where only the "authorities" have firearms? Tell me again why you don't think that is a bad idea, because history doesn't ever repeat itself? Tell me again why you don't think I shouldn't be able to hunt for my food or defend myself from the predators that roam here while I am outdoors? Tell me again why I shouldn't be able to defend my family from bad people, angry mobs or evil regimes? Go ahead, tell me again why that seems like a good idea from your cushy, suburban home! And you know, when you get looted, oppressed and threatened by bears or bad people, are you going to come knock on my door?
Ladies and gentlemen, I present you with the SUPER LAST MINUTE Ketchikan Gift Guide. I was planning to make this post with all my favorite K-town local gift shopping last week, but I have been laid up in bed with an injury! If anyone asks, I was wrestling a bear!! (I certainly did NOT have an embarrassing accident involving wet snow boots and a fully loaded hand truck!). 1. Everyday Alaskan Gifts is one of my favorite gift shops in town. Their selection is awesome. They are locally owned and operated year round and a family friendly place. Often times when I go shopping, shopkeeper Rita will make me a cup of coffee and chat. She has even hosted story time for kids!
That's me and my boys having a wonderful time at Everyday Alaskan Gifts Halloween Story Time!
Here are just a few samples of the really cool merchandise available there:
2. Knot A Problem Massage This is, hands down, my favorite massage business EVER. Both Ren and Camille are wonderful, but my favorite massages are by Camille! She will kneed you like a ball of dough! Honestly, with my chronic sacrum pain, I wish I could go every week.
Gift certificates available! 3. Snappy Rockfish Soap Wonderful handcrafted soaps. Available in several locations around town and on Etsy! 4. Fitzwater Photography Whether you want cool family photos...
...or a smouldering Diva Session...
...Jeff Fitzwater is your man for portraits! 5. Local Craft Bazaars!!!! I know there is one at the Plaza Mall this weekend and also at Saxman Community Center. You can find the most amazing handcrafted gifts there! Look for my favorite vendors, Milady's Gifts and Amber Williams-Baldwin, who sells jams, hats, tutus and more.
If you are lucky enough, you might be able to walk away with something truly one-of-a-kind, like this wool sleep sack my baby Draco is wearing.
/ 6. Starboard Frames and Gifts carries art by many wonderful local artists, including Mike Gates and MJ Cadle! 7. If you want to repair or restore a favorite firearm, contact Chad Jacks, local gunsmith! 8. Bobwires Audio For your automotive gadgetry, remote starters etc. Nelson will hook you up. 9. First City Players Give the gift of theater! Season tickets, Jazz/Cab workshops. Awesome gifts for your theater, music and arts lover. 10. CONTACT ME FOR TWINKIES!!
Being a crazy prepper, I have a SHIT TON of Twinkies. $6,- per Twinkie! Come on, you KNOW you want to give one as a stocking stuffer!
Merry Christmas!
Yes, I have four children. All boys. An eight year old, a three year old, a 23 month old and a six month old. Yes, they are all mine. I have never been on WIC or food stamps; My kids are NOT on Denali Kid Care nor have they ever been on any State-assisted health insurance in any State we've lived in. EVER. We have always had private insurance for our whole family (and there were times between jobs where we had to buy that ourselves) My children have never, nor will they EVER attend public school, because I don't believe in public schools. I do not use Fastrack or IDEA or PACE or ANY OTHER State sponsored homeschooling program that doles out money, because I philosophically do not believe in that. My children are homeschooled on MY DIME, without being enrolled in ANY State program.
So, tell me please, what problem do you have with the size of my family and how I raise my boys?
Yes, we drive a BIG BUS
, but it will run on recycled fryer oil when the temperature is above 66 degrees F. Stick *that* in your Prius!
We are not rich people. We just make choices that allow us to retain our "buying power" We grow...
We gather...
We hunt...
We raise...
We are as self-reliant as our situation allows us to be, and I would wager to say we are doing pretty damn good. Now, see all of that above? And add to that an octogenarian granny who is somewhat memory impaired and needs me to remind her to eat and take her medicines. Now, remember that I have NO FAMILY on this island. None. I am "Ma Bender" (and I have four sons and Granny Bender). I have NO siblings, NO COUSINS...NOTHING, NO FAMILY. Sure, I have friends, but they all have jobs. And the ones that don't have jobs either have kids of their own or can not handle FOUR BOYS UNDER AGE 8. Also remember that Granny has her own buying power. Granny likes her hair done every week. Granny likes her nails done. She has the cash, I am her caretaker! So, Granny WILL have her nails and hair done EVERY WEEK somewhere! If you want it to be your business, be nice to ME. So...you'd like to judge me? You'd like to judge my life? And you local business owners, you'd like to have us go elsewhere? Well, please leave a motherfucking comment, so we can spend our dollars elsewhere!!
Hello friends! It's been a while since you've heard from us at the coffeeshop. I have been insanely busy and we only have one computer at our house, which on most evenings lately has been in use because the husband is working North-Korean factory style hours. So, I have been seeing some snarky posts from parents about shitty Christmas gifts. As a mother of four boys, I can relate. Look, I don't expect anyone to buy my children gifts. Ever. Aunties, grandfathers; you are off the hook. I don't want you to feel like you are obligated to buy my boys things. If you choose to buy them things, that is wonderful and appreciated, but please, listen to me and my husband when we give suggestions on what we do- and do not want you to buy. First of all, DO NOT buy them anything expensive. Why? Let me show you:
They honestly can have fun with a cardboard box for HOURS! In fact, every time I go on my big, monthly grocery run, the children beg me not to throw away the boxes! You can spend $50,- on a plastic dump truck from China that sings and talks, but they will choose the fucking cardboard boxes every time. Why? Because the talking dump truck will never be anything but a dump truck. A cardboard box on the other hand can be a submarine, a castle, a cave or a spaceship! It can be anything they want it to be. So save your $50,- and buy a $10,- book instead (I get new boxes every month on grocery day). Secondly, and this one is VERY IMPORTANT, pretty please with sugar on top don't buy toys that make noise. JUST DON'T DO IT!! When you are shopping and you feel the urge to buy my kids toys that make noise, I want you to hold out the victory sign on your right hand, and then just FUCKING STAB YOURSELF IN THE EYEBALLS. Why? I have four children. If all four of them are playing with noisy toys you get this multiplied by four: Third, please don't buy them things that have small parts. I have four BOYS. They are not old enough or responsible enough to tidy up their toys. If you buy them things that have small parts, inevitably parts will be left out, lost, or the worst case scenario...STEPPED ON BY ME:
If you have EVER stepped on a fucking lego in the middle of the night on your way to the toilet, you will know what I'm talking about. Last, but not least, we ask that you don't buy them crap that is made in China. We try to teach our kids to buy local; to support our local economy. If nothing else, to support American made goods that are made by American workers who then earn a paycheck to support *their* families. Not only that, I am disgusted by the oppressive regime in China. I will have no part in supporting the oppression of their people. Besides, all their stuff is plastic and potentially toxic. No thanks. I'm ok with toys made in Germany, Peru, Iceland or Khazakstan, but for the planet, for freedom and for my kids, please, don't buy from China.
What we DO like are handcrafted toys. Wooden toys (they last much longer than plastic crap), things that encourage imaginative play and BOOKS! One can NEVER have too many books.
