As a mother of four boys, I find myself in the very difficult position of raising four MEN. Yes, one day my dear little boys will be big, burly men and I would very much like for them to not turn out to be assholes, bullies or meth heads. I want them to be happy, respectful, self-reliant MEN who can think for themselves and settle their differences civilly, without resorting to practices from our caveman past. So I am strict with them. They only get one hour of "Screen Time" per day. This can either be in the form of (educational) games on the tablet or watching the "Idiot Box" (television). We do not own an Xbox or Playstation or Wii, nor will we ever. They are only allowed pre-recorded, appropriate television shows (my 8 year old still delights in Tickety Tock). My sons will not receive mobile phones, but they do get to study for a HAM radio license and have their own radio when they pass,(so much more handy during the Zombocalypse anyway). I just can't believe that there is an entire generation that is constantly connected to an electronic device. Kids that don't look up long enough from their incessant texting to see the world around them. I gave up having a cell phone four years ago and I don't miss it at all. I also don't want them to feel like they are entitled to be constantly entertained. I usually refer to this excerpt from Joel Salatin's book, "Folks This Ain't Normal.
We track.
We homeschool and learn about the world around us.
We read...
We build and imagine things!
We participate in the arts!
We create things.
There are so many things your kids can be doing instead of spending time looking at a screen! My boys also play outside, ride bikes, enjoy archery!
But don't get me wrong. I'm not the perfect, wholesome mom. Mothering four boys (and being strict), I often times felt like Drill-Sargent-Mom, constantly barking out orders and doling out punishments. A little while ago, I told my boys that I really don't enjoy being Drill-Sargent-Mom (I really hate it), so I sat everyone down and we had a family meeting. We were to make up our own "rules", but my oldest, smartass as ever said: "Oh, but mom, aren't you always advocating for smaller government and less restrictions on individual liberty?" (God damn my homeschooling is paying off; the kid can think for himself and catch me in my own rhetoric!). So instead we have a "Family Charter" these are things we all agreed upon together. There is a list of "Do's" and a list of "Don'ts". What my children crave more than anything is some private time with mom and dad, so they earn tokens for "Do's" and lose tokens for "Don'ts". Whomever has the most at week's end gets to pick what we have for dinner on Friday and what movie we watch (Friday is movie night and an exception to the "Idiot Box rule"). Each token is worth 15 minutes of mom- or dad time. At week's end they cash in their tokens and get to pick what to do with their special time and who to do it with. For my family, THIS REALLY WORKS! I kid you not. I have only had two "time-outs" since I started this. They love it! Carrot ALWAYS trumps stick and the thought of losing their special time with mom and dad and the thought of their brothers possibly "winning" the weekly token balance and thus picking dinner and our precious "Idiot Box"-time is enough incentive to get these children to be sweet to one another, helpful, and just...well...HAPPY AND RESPECTFUL! Here is our family charter, but whatever works for your family is best:
Family Charter.
DO:
KEEP POSITIVEListen to Mom and Dad
Be kind
Be helpful
Be polite
Share
DON'T
Be Violent (no kicking, hitting or biting)
Scream
Be hurtful
Snatch things from others
Whine
Say bad words
:) Happy New Year, everyone.
